Category: Mass Effect 3
Characters: Jane Shepard\Garrus Vakarian, the mention of the other members of the team
Genre: Missing scene, Romance, Angst
Abstract: for what aboard the Normandy installed a memorial plaque?
Warnings: mention of the death of the characters
From the author: my reflection after Rannoch
Heart ached from a glance at these names. And why the Alliance placed here this board with the names of the dead crew of the Normandy? Jane knew the answer, but it doesn't get any easier. Each time she go downstairs to the third deck, this board with three new names rushed into the eyes. Minduar, Virmire, Omega nebula, Tuchanka, The Citadel, Rannoch ... How long will this continue?
- Shephard. - three-toed hand gently laid on her shoulder. Jane involuntarily flinched in surprise. - Are you going to keep standing here or will you go eat something already?
- I'm not hungry. - Shephard responds dryly, but turian doesn't buy it.
- Enough, Shepard. Let's be honest. - Garrus grabs her by the shoulder and turns to himself. - I can see, you need to speak out.
- What to say? I'm a horrible commander. - she responds, staring at the floor.
- Why? You're one of the best ... - starts turian but stops in mid-sentence when Shepard raised her eyes, red from crying.
- Do you even know what it means to be a commander? I am responsible for the lives of people that they trust me. I am responsible for their welfare. If they die, this is my fault... - Jane utters the last words muffled through her tears.
Garrus instead of words of consolation presses her to him. Shepard sobs in his neck, cursing herself for the failure. Turian remain silent, fingering dark brown hair. He heard, human's hair becoming lighter from adversity, turning gray. Jane's hair, instead of that, faded, lost its luster. She had been gloomy and now frowns more often. She says that she keeps the hope of winning in the heart. People believes in her, but if she believes herself? Javik sense a lie in her words. She only said nothing in response. There was no reason to deny.
- Go to your room. I'll bring you something to eat. - Garrus says after a few minutes. Shepard dutifully goes to the elevator, unable to resist him.
He takes food for commander and feels surprised looks of the crew on him. Turian and human - a strange pair of lovers. James only whistled when he heard about it, others could not understand that their commander had found in Garrus. Liara by using resources of the Shadow Broker, learned about their relationships before Shepard was arrested. Tali, Joker and EDI have been with them during their mission. Kaidan ... refuses to accept this.
In the commander's cabin he didn't immediately finds her - hugging her knees, she sat on the couch and empty eyes examined the wall.
- Here's your lunch. - says Garrus, putting the tray on the table. Shepard responded only when he sat down and touched her shoulder. - Still can't stop thinking about them?
- I will never forget them, Garrus. - meets Jane. - I killed them by myself...
- History repeats itself. - turian expressed his thoughts. The girl looked up at him, - Six months ago you asked me not to blame myself for the death of my team. Now I ask you not to blame youself.
- I vowed to never lose anyone from my crew. And what I see now? I left Ash to die on Virmire, allowed Mordin go to the tower, didn't save Thane from the deadly blow. And if I knew that Legion would die in the name of his race, I would have forbade him to pass the Reaper's code ... - Shepard's voice trembled.
- Jane, - said Garrus, tenderly embracing her. - They died for the sake of a great purpose. You couldn't do otherwise.
- I know, - meets Shepard, clinging to turian's neck. - Our mad professor gave future to Krogans. The assassin saved advisor from death. And thanks to Legion, Quarian and Geth live in peace. All going well... for the war.
Garrus just patted her on the back, not daring to interrupt. Shepard talked and talked about how she's afraid for all of them, about the nightmares that have begun to torment her from the flight from Earth, that is at stake the fate of all sentient races, and that fate depends on her, how she was tired of all this. She wanted to live somewhere far away from it, with him, but instead of that she's in the middle of war.
- Shepard, what helps you to hold on? - turian asked when she's finished.
- I remember Urdnot Bakara's words. - she said, glancing at the desk. Next to the datapad and the old N7 helmet lay small white crystal. - "Even from darkest darkness there's always the way out." And "Believe in your success. Whatever troubles we may meet, some events we can not avoid."